Leadership is for the dogs (somedays)

Last winter/spring I used this forum to vent about not having and wondering why I can't find anyone who is as passionate and loyal to the cause and purpose we are working for as I am. The response I got from a Pastor friend who saw it... that's why you're the leader. End of story.

Well, I'm tired of being the leader. I don't want to be the leader right now. Someone else should be sitting in the office at 9:23 pm waiting for our speaker to arrive. But I'm here, on my day off, working my 8 hours and likely more. Why? Because nobody else saw the need or was willing to step up and fill it if they did see it.

And lest you think I'm complaining about 8 hours of work - only when I'm supposed to have the day off. Generally 8 hours is a short day - at least during summer, which is now almost over.

My mantra has been for my department that the work must get done. Frankly, I'm tired of the work not getting done. Or is it just not getting done to my level of expectation? And if that is the case it then raises the question for me as to whether or not my expectations are realistic? But should they be? Or do they need to be? My desire is to be faithful to God and to bless His children. I'm not sure that happens by lowering expectations.

I feel like I'm mostly rambling on this one and probably not making much sense but I think my last rant tonight is that I feel like my pouring out my life for the cause, for the work has neglible results. Does it really make a difference? Does anyone care that I have done this? Does anyone know? If I bring it up will they write it off to me being a workaholic and not to put that expectation on them. Or will someone say thanks - you went above and beyond and for that we are grateful. We see it and we appreciate it.

And lastly - does it matter if anyone sees it or not? Does it matter if it is appreciated? I think probably not. I should do it for the joy of serving and because it's right, not because I'll get kudos for it.

So work for the cause, tirelessly and until the work is done because it is our joy to serve God's children. It is our joy because to serve God's children is to serve God and to point people toward Him everyday. So I will be here as long as it takes tonight and tomorrow night and the next because it is my joy to serve.

Blessings,
Eric